what im saying is that bisexuals, pansexual, and asexuals should all join together so we can be in the fictitious trifecta. enough people will say we’re not real and we’ll all converge together in a massive, fierce mass only spoken of in myth. dont come near us or you too will cease to exist
can we include aromantics?
triforce of fabulousness
There we go, a shield to protect against the negativity
#pirates of the caribbean was kind of a formative influence #so here’s the thing #after years of chasing curses and hearts and fountains; losing the pearl and winning her back and losing her again #after rum enough to drown his sins and sorrows both#captain jack sparrow wakes up one morning and he’s immortal #just like that #no deals with calypso (he hasn’t been able to find her since the brethren court broke her chains) no desperate double-dealing #one morning he just…stops #stops aging stops dying #he gets the seas forever—except #except #the edges of the map are closing in #the lure of undiscovered treasures is waning and merchant ships are becoming better defended #the day that the East India Company takes Shipwreck Island; Jack feels a great chapter in the world’s history close #(he flees to the Barbary coast with the rest of his ilk; but the romance has gone out of it—the is too much desperation #too much hunger too much blood to it nowadays #the age of the swashbuckler won’t live out the decade) #I imagine this thing he’s chased all his life would crumble through his hands as he bounced from ship to ship #he never gets used to the square rigging on the clippers; though they lead to some good work running tea from china #but the first time he sees a steamship he nearly walks off the dock out of shock #of all the ways sailing would have changed; who thought you’d get rid of the /sails/ #(he swears he’s never getting on one of those monstrosities; let alone sailing on one) #(he manages to hold out until 1893 when the longing for the sea overwhelms him and he decides that even #that ghastly smog and the humming of the engines can be endured) #sometimes he’ll see calypso out of the corner of his eye—leaning on the deck railing; darting alongside the ship with the dolphins #(someone in the early 20th century tells him they’re not fish and he nearly busts a gut laughing) #he wears a hundred names and a hundred looks; cuts his hair short or grows it long #calls himself american; spanish; english (british); caribbean #he has two dozen different copies of Stevenson’s Treasure Island—it reminds him of something gone and half-forgotten #and in 1920 when Seitz comes out with Pirate Gold; Captain Jack Sparrow is in the first row (x)
And then in the future, everything changes. He’s been through it all, of course-watched humanity rediscover the heavens above them, watched them begin to wonder what’s out there. He cheered with the rest of the world when they landed on the moon, cheered as if he’d found Isla de la Muerta all over again, because there was something new. New treasure, a new horizon. But then they stop going, stop exploring, and he goes back to riding tankers across the rising seas. So he’s surprised when one day he wakes up from a night with his bottle of rum (his truest companion), and hears that there’s colonies on Mars now, and they need ships to supply them. He spends the next decade crafting new identities, learning all he can to qualify for the job, and after several tries (and even more faked deaths-this immortality thing isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in the age of the inerasable digital self) he gets it. The ships go nearly constantly now, the needs of the terraforming project creating an unbroken line of vessels from Mars to Earth and back again. “Show me that horizon,” he whispers to himself, his personal prayer of thanksgiving, each time they leave orbit, because the worlds, the stars are in motion and it’s never the same, with nearly three years for a round trip the ports are always different, even if they keep the old names. And finally one trip something goes wrong with the reactor, they’re too low on power and have to deploy the backups, and Jack (Lucky Jack, they call him, for he survives too many things he shouldn’t but science has yet to accept that maybe some things weren’t old wives’ tales after all) goes out for the spacewalk to bring up the solar panels. And as they rise, geometric patterns black against the sun’s glare, he’s struck by a powerful sense of déjà vu, because it’s all here-wind and sails, a ship beneath his feet and stars above his head, horizon in all directions. He wonders, for a moment, if the reason he’s still here is because the universe wanted a witness, to mourn the end of one age of exploration, and rejoice in the birth of the next.
of course it’s not adam and steve, steve is a name with firmly greek origins, what would he be doing in the original aramaic/hebrew text. it’s adam and simeon.
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter- Diagon Alley
professors seeing “teddy lupin” on their rosters and being like “ah yes, remus lupin’s son. remus was such a well behaved student, i’m sure his son will be the same”
and then teddy shows up for class and they’re like “oh no….oh no”
Imagine that at the end of Dumbledore’s speech at the beginning of the year, he asks if there are any questions, and one first year muggleborn kid raises his hand, whips out a smart phone and asks for the wifi password.
And then Dumbledore just casually says “Sherbet lemon, with a capital S”, and commences the feast like it’s no big deal while the non-muggleborns think WIFI is some sort of secret society.
To be fair, Cap never asked if he could land…
Squirrel Girl needs a movie.
LISTEN UP YOU MAGGOTS
THIS CHARACTER IS BY FAR THE MOST POWERFUL, THE MOST INTERESTING, AND THE MOST WORTHY OF BEING YOUR ROLE MODEL EVER.
FIRST OFF SHE NEVER ONCE GOES GRIMDARK NOT ONCE AND WHEN SPEEDBALL WENT AND DID HIS STUPID CLIVE BARKER POINTS POINTED INWARD ARMOR THING SHE CALLED HIM OUT ON IT AND OUTRIGHT DECLARED SUCH A THING WAS CHILDISH AND MADE HIM INEFFECTIVE AS A HERO BECAUSE A HERO HAS TO BE APPROACHABLE.
ALSO LETS TALK ABOUT HER SUPERPOWER. YOU TAKE ONE LOOK AT HER AND THINK SHE’S JUST A LOSER RIGHT? WRONG. SQUIRREL GIRL HAS THE MUTANT POWER TO NOT ONLY HAVE SQUIRREL TRAITS BUT CAN ALSO COMMAND THE ABSOLUTE LOYALTY OF SQUIRRELS. HOW MANY SQUIRRELS? TRY EVERY SQUIRREL EVERY WHERE. FLYING SQUIRRELS, TREE SQUIRRELS, I BET YOU SOMEHOW SHE CAN EVEN COMMAND THE LOYALTY OF SOME SHITASTICALLY RARE POISON SQUIRRELS.
BECAUSE OF THIS POWER SHES MANAGED TO TAKE ON FOES THAT WOULD NORMALLY JUST INCINERATE HER ON THE SPOT. SHE TOOK ON DOCTOR VICTOR VON DOOM FOR PETE’S PATOOTS NOT A DOOM BOT THE ACTUAL DOCTOR DOOM AN ACTUAL SORTA ALIEN GOD CALLED THE WATCHER HAD TO ACTUALLY FACT CHECK THAT SHIT BECAUSE EVEN HE DIDNT BELIEVE IT AND THAT FUCKER NEVER INTERVENES FOR SHIT BUT HE HAD TO IN THIS CASE BECAUSE THE WORLD JUST COULDN’T BELIEVE SQUIRREL GIRL DEFEATED THE GENUINE DOCTOR DOOM HE WAS LIKE “OH HELL YEAH I HAVE TO COME DOWN AND FACT CHECK THIS SHIT THE UNIVERSE NEEDS THIS WHAT IM SURE GALACTUS CAN WAIT.”
ALSO HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTALOONS BEACUSE THIS LADY ACTUALLY TOOK ON GALACTUS AND WON.
GALACTUS YES THAT GALACTUS THE GIANT DUDE THAT EATS PLANETS SHE TOOK ON A SPACE GOD WITH NOTHIN GBUT MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRRELS.
SHE NEEDS A SERIES. A MOVIE, A FANBASE SHES JUST THAT AWESOME.
ALSO SHE’S PART OF A LOSER HERO TEAM CALLED THE GREAT LAKES AVENGERS AND ITS STAFFED BY A DUDE WHO CAN COME BACK TO LIFE WHEN HE DIES LIKE KENNY FROM SOUTH PARK
IM DONE HERE JUST USE WIKIPEDIA ALREADY DONT TAKE MY WORD FOR IT
No, seriously, it has become something of a running gag that Squirrel Girl can defeat any villain.
She is like “Instant Fun, just add Squirrel Girl”.
I strongly recommend reading her adventures, they are just super-great. ^__^
(Minor correction, it is actually the Great Lakes Champions, not Avengers.)
(She also has a healing factor and enhanced strength among some other squirrel-themed powers.)
Marvel set up a system of gauging superheroes powers and based it largely on which characters have defeated and lost to other characters to determine what those power levels are. Due to Squirrel Girl having defeated so many strong villains, they were forced to put every single power category at 7 out of 7.
She is the only Marvel character in history to achieve this.
The red are what fans think her power ratings should be.
Blue is canon ratings.
[source: http://marvel.com/universe/Squirrel_Girl ]
Aww yea Squirrel Girl.
OMGs. If the 50 Shades of Grey movie looked like this I’d be in line right now waiting till February!
I’m not even in this fandom and I nearly blew a fucking gasket watching this. If Sebstan is strange compelling to you and if D/s is your jam, just click play.
HOLY FUCKING SHIT
*THROWS ALL MY MONEY AT THE GODS TO MAKE THIS A REAL THING*
*FAPS FURIOUSLY IN THE MEANTIME*
Fuck this is sexy.
I am both aroused and in awe at this editing